I remember waiting in line for after school, it was freezing watching people jump up and down to warm up and others causing friction in their hands. This guy came and cut in line with his friend giving him a spot, I never saw him in the school before but I knew that we did go to the same school the next day. My friends didn't like him since he was different and skipped the line but they did the same, I just didn't say anything against them(I wish I did though, asian should stand up for each other) but he just didn't care what they said and ignored it. Inside the cafeteria we would usually sit in the corner but this time we saw him sitting one table away from us. I know that's where they usually sit but like usual he didn't mind what they were saying. I've wanted to be like that, then I wouldn't have to be with these girls that play cool and not get good grades. The format of the school was easy to remember most of my classmates create this line behind me which gets annoying so i run through every staircase till I lose them and get to class right on time, it was fun since it's their punishment for being so mean and yet ask for help. I would help it's just I know they will continue this war if I did help them. They hated my kind and I had no idea why but this is my way of fighting back. I'm a delinquent behind the teacher when I have to be(but that side of me has been casted away and now people are telling me they see my twin, very weird). When those same people go to pick on him, he has this gang that follow him and they show their pride that we shouldn't be afraid of them.
We're all human, he and I were fighting for the same thing but I didn't think it's fair that he got in trouble and I didn't. I took my anger out on them when we had a game in math class, it was a game of 24 with poker cards, this did make it worst for me though. When a team gets the answer everyone in the group has to raise their hand, I was too angry to care about a stupid game so when my table got answer everyone but me raise their hand and they kept yelling at me, all the fear inside was gone by the rage that covered it. The teacher moved on after 5 minutes of yelling of students yelling at me, I was thinking why should I care when it's just a game not your life. They gave their answer and after awhile I raise my hand to prove them wrong, they started to say weird things like she didn't even know what our answer was how could she know it's wrong.
When I entered this school I was hoping for something more different then the life given to me in the school before, I never knew about transferring. I didn't understand why asian would fight asian even though we are the same kind, I just think it's plain stupid. Every morning I would watch that guy fight back with confidence that we should have pride in who we are. Thinking about those words just made me feel better everyday, until one day the dean came down to get him and after that he was never seen again, we would check the area he would go to. Everyone knew those boys were the real problem not him. I hated the dean for taking away someone that helped defend the right people.
More trouble came I remember being at a park with my sister telling her how I wanted that dream not to be hers anymore because it was something I wanted I didn't want her to get hurt anymore. After he left, I find light and left the group of girl thinking what's wrong with me, more people started picking on the people I was with, my real friend that have always been there I was just blind by all that anger. Realizing this wasn't good enough I still needed a solution but then I saw four of the girls in my school. I was wishing this would just go away I'm tired of this I want my normal life back where there was only a cage that negative emotions could never touch. Those girls got closer and wouldn't leave us alone. When people pick on those I care about most I forget who I am and inside of me filled with emotional strength that continues to fight( in the wrong way T3T) it wasn't wrong of me that's what I'll always believe, I threw the swings at that girl she dodge but I got her by the neck I told her to stop or else I would kill her and she tried to grab my neck. I remember how scared my sister was when she saw the person standing before her and said that I wasn't me. When I woke up from the rage I told them to shut up and left leaving fear. That park always felt safe whenever I look up it felt like someone was protecting us because I don't think that was me.
I just wished that he would come back because it's unfair to have a girl fighting all by herself against a class of holding volleyballs ready to hit me. I just wished it didn't have to be like that. I'm tired of remembering these things, I don't want to go back anymore. Always hoping for that light I threw away a side of protection now I can't save her anymore.
Sorry if this is a sad story but thank you for reading(don't read it the wrong way I don't want to write this again T.T)
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