What I think about "Cool"

We all have our own ways of defining the word cool, to me cool is like my own style or the style I just like. A cool person is define as somewhat cold, usually pleasantly so or someone that stays calm or not showing emotions, especially nervousness or fear. But it doesn't always have to define in these ways that's just the dictionary definition, in a way cool is also being free like doing things without having people telling do and doing things because you like it not because others tell you too.

I've been told many times by others that I'm not cool and since I don't conform with other people and how they dress. But I don't really want to dress so that I can fit in because that wouldn't be me, it's better not to categorize people.

I remember how people got pick on in middle school if they weren't cool or not the right type of people. I thought it was really ridiculous, it's not fair that we can't live a normal life and learn like a normal student just because we're different. I was once very delinquent because I wanted to protect those I care about and what I believe, I don't want to give up no matter what I had to do in exchange I was willing as long as they're safe that's all I cared most about. I can't help but love and hate school at the same time. I love helping and learning but I hate those kids that never think about how any of this can cause a huge scar inside us. If only those kids could see the truth. I really dislike how I was left behind and used since I didn't fit in the category as cool. I didn't care I did cause a lot of trouble for them but good thing not for the teacher I still have to learn =P

Though this experience did hurt and left many things behind that I can't get rid of, I'm glad that they're safe. I never wanted this to effect my siblings and friends but it made me realize how weak I was and how I never fight back even if someone were to kill me. I look back at these memories and think look how stupid I was, look at all those uncool things I did and laugh it off.

I just get so tired of it all, I wish it would just end but I know it never fill but I don't want to keep fighting. I want people to live normally without thinking about what makes us better than others. I don't really care if it's cool or not. It's just me, my style doesn't matter if others do the same, I'm just glad you like it.

Thank you for reading~