03.23

Today was a strange day, almost everyone was acting weird. I don't really get, is it the weather or exhibition...maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. This morning I walked into advisory and a teacher asked a student if they knew the 11th grade schedule, usually one answer is enough. "I don't know" I think that's what the student said, the teacher responded "Don't have to give such an attitude" I don't think the student was giving an attitude, just that the teacher didn't consider the fact that the student was eating and most student don't learn the schedule of others, besides the teacher could have asked someone who's actually in 11th grade. I happened to hear another complain about this teacher, it was about a mural. She said "can you do one in my room?" the student not wanting to be mean/rude said "sure" I think. The words the teacher uses were "can you?" she never said if you had the time too nor did she asked if it was alright and this saying you have to do one in my room since you did it in this teacher's room. At first the student may consider helping but not after what happened next. The next day the student went to work on the mural the teacher was yelling at them for walking into the class while the day before that we did the same, it's not really their room away, they are borrowing it and the student have permission to walk in. It felt like the teachers were just taking it out on those students. Judging from their teaching this is their attitude since they teach kids that are behind class and yelling at them all the time. There's a better way to teach kids why can't they make things more fun then even the teachers wouldn't be so boring and always yelling taking their anger out on the students that have nothing to do with the situation.

I feel sorry for the teachers and student today, we're all acting very different. I wonder what's the cause for all of this. In class I hear teachers saying how different everyone is today. In the very same class we had a student that cried during a test, others heard it was a headache, those who would never worry about this student asked if something was wrong with her, I thought it was weird. I heard others blaming the teacher for the cause for her headache and it's really annoying, if you don't know the answer then just move on, it's not the end of life, is it for attention then? Well, it'll just be another lesson to those people who call themselves smart or think that way. Don't think to hard because you'll find the easiest solution. If it was over a test/quiz then it's a lie because that student understood more than I did before the test and the test was a lot easier than the homework. No one helped me with that while that student had more than enough help so if it was the test than it's a lie. If it really was a headache, then it's no one's fault but her own because she choose to do this and that, is there ever a time for a break? The answer is rarely, what can people accomplish from a yearbook. I agree with Kinory that the yearbook is a waste of paper and time so why make it? Why couldn't it be on a computer? Why can't we just make our own? A yearbook does not even cost as much as it's named price, we could just take a camera and some other supplies and make our own, make tons of copies and it would be the same except there's one thing that different and that is that it's your own because you choose what to put in it and no one else, made with what you want to remember. Kids like us, buying a yearbook is like throwing money over a bridge, we wasted time, time that we could have spend together rather than just always working, as we have seen in movies putting work before people does not have a good ending. Yearbook is a chance to skip class and make it look like you doing something important and placing yourself in a place where people can remember you, it make people look dumb in my opinion. Why couldn't we just have taken all that time to do something more important like helping another student because there's a chance they will remember you, if your just in a yearbook, eventually that book becomes nothing and get thrown somewhere but when helping others, you'll remember something eve if it's a little thing about them, when they are gone, you'll know that they were here for you and that they are stilling living within your memories.

It would be nice it people could redo this day or even go back to apologize to the people that they have acted mean to today. Even I've changed today, I think I'm just upset about that teacher this morning, they seem to ask a lot from us. I don't really know why but I have this feeling as we are a bother to have, even thought they ask for so much from students in our grade. We don't mind the things we have to do for them so why can't they just treat us the same way. If they don't change then eventually there will a day where there will be a student they won't be able to handle or they will cause that student to close their world, meaning isolate them self or maybe worst. Even though today was a bad day, I've learned a lot from it, everyday in life has an important lesson, there is no limit to knowledge. If we believe there is a limit, then we have limited ourselves in a small world.

Those words "I wish I were you" it makes me kind of sad because I don't think people could handle it. "If only I could live you life" would you want to try it? I know these words aren't real and if they were they would regret it because even I do at the worst times in life. I don't want people to say that anymore, it's painful even if you look stronger you're looking for a shoulder to lean on and hoping they would understand you pain and not complain. Always having to plan your next day so you could live, no one in this world ever understanding you. It's because you never opened your world to anyone else but I did, no one came so those doors closed again. Waiting for a place, waiting for someone. There is so much in this world humans can't see, they can't know, and must think it's only a creation of our imagination. Is it really just that? The things people think about in their hearts, if they think about it too much, they attractive things we don't know about leading to events that shouldn't happen and regrets. Be careful for what you wish for.

If someone in this world had planned each of our lives out, how would that feel? I would want to meet that person, I want to understand why he choose the things he did. There would be so much to ask about but I won't say a thing. I want to listen to all the things this person has to say because he's probably been waiting for someone to come, waiting in a place where things never change. I won't say a thing, He's waited all this time so if I come to speak then I'll be just another human that will continue to greed.

I want a place of my own, a person that doesn't exist, a time that never changes. A never ending story.