HW #45 More Big Thoughts on Schools

I don't think they contradict each other, one is saying students and teachers have a role, students are for learning while the teacher is suppose to teach and the other one want parts to build knowledge. They both relate to a child's knowledge and how they want it to taught but knowledge and experience are very different things. Both of them think that by learning and experiencing we will have a deeper understanding of things but it isn't true because knowledge doesn't give a deeper understand for those who want knowledge, the yearn for more knowledge and fear the truth, those who understand have powers to manipulate others if they want to or they can helps other with their problem. Knowledge is power they say but it's actually nothing because you can have all the knowledge in the world and not know how to use it at all. Even if their theories are put together they won't work because time changes people. Knowledge consists of many things, there's no limit to how much we can learn but there is a limit to how much knowledge we want to accept.

In my own experience teacher have only created more question inside of me, leaving me with emptiness because I thought I would be satisfied if I could live up to every one's expectations for me but it wasn't something I wanted to do. That emptiness just kept creating more questions inside of me, what I wanted to do, what I was, why are people here, and many more. I remember when I was little, knowledge to me meant nothing, none of it was important because I could understand what others were staying. They say as a child we can sense when things are going to be bad and have our own way of communication and that's all that I really need until the time of life comes where you have living a life away from your parents more. Relatives would compare their children and acted as if their child is that great because they don't want the child having too much pride but even so school teaches most of the things parents don't want their child learning. If there were no such thing as school there wouldn't be such things as having to fit in or bullying...maybe. I'd say Sizer's theory fits more into my own experience because knowledge had never meant anything to me, it was always experience and understanding, I depend on my emotional strength to pass each single day of my life. If you wish hard enough it just might come true, I've heard many things but never understood them and I wanted to so if I came upon the same situation I would knw how to act so I wish that I would understand everything no matter how hard it is I just want to know how it feels because I don't understand emotions and it's training. To me everyday has it's own special lesson planned out for me even, it doesn't have to be at school or home, it could happen anywhere. I'm just waiting for it to happen. By learning things does it really feel like we're getting older? Does it help us grow? Are we really learning anything at all? School slowly teaches us things little by little and now they are fast forwarding it, aren't people scared that maybe one day one of the kids will find out what the gov't is trying to do and fight back. We're just a bunch of puppets and letting others use us because we've got something to protect.

They make me think about how we're just being used by others, it feels like we're doing all of this for ourselves but we're not. It feels like we're free but in reality we're caged in our own fear of facing the truth. Even if we know that we're being used, we don't fight it, we don't do anything about it. Just leaving the things the way they are, on the bottom of pieces of paper we sometimes get for homework, there was something like "never doubt a small group of commited individuals can change the world but has anyone tried? People are drenched in their own fears, it doesn't matter how much knowledge we have when we don't know how to use it. Those little children you used to teach, what they become in the end, are teachers ready to face it? When teachers teach a student so they think about how they can change a child. They might just create a monster or new hope for the world but that would rarely happen because even if an angel fell from the sky the humans would taint it's wings and she may never be able to fly.

I don't really understand the story, I'm not good with learning since I've only learn through experiencing things, teaching is like water it flows in and out of the brain but experience is fire, it's burn to the core.