I remember there was a time where one of my classmates asked me why I was even in this world and if I had any right to live? Everyday he would just come at me with these question as if I didn't have any purpose for living. I could never answer those question but I kept searching, everyday I tried to find an answer that was good enough for my existences. Because these question whenever I saw someone without an answer I kept pushing them, pushing them to move forward.
Even if I couldn't find the answer for myself, I couldn't let others fall into the same pit of darkness. There are people in this world that can bring hope and take that same hope away from us. I realize this from the experience I got from school. I realized that if I wasn't there then those people who felt the same way and had to deal with the same things I would have never been able to do anything, I wouldn't have understood how they felt.
School has taught me to understand that things that most people wouldn't take the time to think about. The things that we say we understand how it feel but do we really. Are people just saying that to comfort us or do they understand what we have to go through. School has given me a path to look for my existence but now I realize that isn't what I really wanted all this time.
There's always a person trying to replace you, trying to erase as much of your existence from this world as they can. When I kept thinking why this person want such thing, thoughts of wanting to still have a presence so I kept fighting. I thought about it some more, thinking what will I do after that. I don't want to choose a goal where it'll lead to a dead end, school never help with my goals. I watched as everyone changes, the words I hear are "Na, you're the same as I remember" or "You never change." Time changes people, not all the changes are good that's why I choose not to change and try my best to stay the same as always. Watching people change and making those same mistakes, it gets a bit boring so I would change things a bit sometimes making the things that would happen a lot quicker. Changes that I've seen haven't been good ones but I hope to see one soon, it's not healthy with all that negative energy around us.
In school they have taught us so much about betrayal that it happens so much among friendship, watching things tear up, we have a choice whether to do something or nothing at all. Sometimes people deserve to be alone so that they can think about the things the have done to themselves and to others around them. I don't really think school is what's teaching us this,it only shows us the things that happen in this world and then we put things into action for ourselves. They show us all these different possibilities on the things we can do and the things we can be and then we choose what we want to do. To listen or to follow our own path, we are always choosing, school is just a closet full of different choices that we can make in our life, in the mirror we can see how things will turn out but there are time where that mirror shatters and things start to fall apart. We living in our own world where there are times where others can enter and leave as you choose.
A small world inside of us. The closet of choices in front of us.
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